Australia's Night Life

Yesterday was Helena's first day working at her job and I've pretty much come to the conclusion that I will be WWOOFing it at some stage so set about at looking at likely destinations and hosts across southern, western and central Australia.
I walked and sat in Hyde Park, plugged myself into my Ipod and proceeded to map out in my mind and using my lovely planet guide book map at the front of the book to visually give me a picture of just were abouts i will be travelling and how.

That night we had arranged to go out to a club with two people we'd met out her, one was a room mate and he'd met someone travelling who he introduced to us and we'd been getting along with quite well.
We mapped out a rough plan in the afternoon and come 6 O'clock we kicked into action.
because Helena was still at work so the three of us went and got something to eat and then on the way back we would pick up some Goon - 4 litres of the nastiest tasting wine your ever going to have but for $10 its no surprise that its a student/travelling favourite - and set about trying to act marginally civilised whilst drinking (crap) wine out of a tin and plastic cups.
WE then proceeded out on the town, we went originally to a place called World Bar - the scene of my bikini clad escapade - but didn't want to pay the entrance fee as we were only going to have one drink and then move on so we decided to walk around the corner towards the club when we walked past a club called B.A.B, we were sold the story by the bouncer trying to Usher us in that this was Australia's finest strip club, so, being lads on tour and at that time Helenaless, Andrew presented the idea that we, you know, 'treat ourselves'. For the same price it would have cost to get into World Bar we dutifully agreed with Andrew and walked in.
Now, up until then I'd never been in a strip joint and wasn't to sure what to expect but what it turned out to be wasn't that much of a surprise...if that makes sense..
The obvious scantily clad women were in there droves either walking around offering to dance with some guys, i some how thing it wasn't as clean cut as you dancing? you asking? I'm asking...I'm dancing....I've a slight incline that it was a little more....ya know..
Anyway we were told to sit and that the bar lady would bring over our drinks so we got a nice little secluded spot in the corner and observed the show....
It was alright, out of the six girls who got on stage only two looked remotely female whilst two looked a little...not very nice...and one was about 4ft and looked like a kid, not cool.

It was funny looking around though at the other people in the place and you can kind of break it down into three categories, 1. the kids around my age who are sitting there fascinated and in awe but as soon as they walk from there chair to the bar or toilet they'd immediately put on a kind of strut that implied yer, I'm cool with this, this is like a hobby of mine whilst all the time avoiding eye contact with anyone afraid that they'd give off a 'my girlfriend would kill me if she knew i was here' look. Number 2 consists of people (Hi Granddad) his age and they would generally sit on the outskirts of the room by the tables and as soon as a girl would be on stage that they liked they'd move up to the seats situated directly around the stage and proceed to be mocked by the girl dancing on stage as they chucked away $50 at a time just to get the girl to dance for, that little bit longer, in front of them...the third is your typical 30-40 year old who looks the business, trimmed, well groomed, daft little goatee bit, diamond earrings, usually with another girl they brought with them in arm sitting about being laddish as if this was nothing more than a normal bar...

Anyway, we stayed for about half an hour, got asked for $80 between the three of us for a dance from this podgey little fat girl dressed in a latex maids outfit, I made the excuse that I had to meet Helena, which i actually did, but i also wasn't prepared to pay my share of the money to be danced on by an umpa-lumpa

so we left, procceded to the club, had a really good time there....but this is the interesting part..
We left the club in the small hours, we were all a little intoxicated but we decided to walk home, whilst walking along a stretch of road there was a group of guys walking towards us who were staring people out, firstly they stared out Helena, who was actually oblivious, then Colin the other friend with me and then me and now me being me continued to stare at him to even to the stage were i had to start walking backwards to keep eye contact, he obviously didn't like this so stopped, started shouting something so i gave him some friendly mouth back he walked up towards me and we were nose to nose, or more it was my nose resting on top of his head as he was about a foot smaller, and then his even shorter ass of a mate twatted me a good'en on the side of the head with a nicely connected punch, the fact that couldn't see it coming due to my eyes looking at the bonce under my nose kinda didn't help, i obviously wanted to kick ten tons of S*&% out of him...and his five mates but for some reason Colin wouldn't let me and dragged me off.

All in all I've probably got a lot worse a headache than i deserve from just the alcohol and my neck hurts once more but for an entirely different reason...